How Does He Make Me Feel? 3 Signs He Loves You (and 3 Red Flags to Run From)

Ladies, let’s have some real talk. In a world where social media influences nearly everything, many of us get caught up in how a relationship looks rather than how it feels. We ask ourselves: Is he social media worthy? Will people be jealous when they see us together? But the most important question often gets ignored:

How does he make me feel?

Your answer to that one question is everything.

The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special, too.” — Ernest Hemingway

My Personal Story: A Lesson Learned

I once met a man who, in the beginning, seemed like the perfect catch. He cooked for me, proudly showed me off, and drove hours just to pick me up and bring me back home. On my birthday, he surprised me with a getaway and even picked a cottage-style room because he knew that’s what I loved. He made everything feel magical.

But seven months later, things shifted. I was going through a difficult time, struggling with mental stress from jury duty that triggered past trauma. Instead of being there for me, he decided his solo cycling trip was more important. The man who once went out of his way for me had become selfish and distant.

The worst part? When I needed him most — for comfort, safety, and support — he gave me a meaningless gift that reflected his interests, not mine. A bracelet with a gold bicycle. A reminder that it was no longer about us; it was about him.

And when I desperately needed his emotional support through work stress and even financial struggles, he chose silence. Meanwhile, my ex-husband, of all people, stepped in to make sure I was safe, offering to help without hesitation.

I realized then: his words said he loved me, but his actions made me feel small, unimportant, and unsafe. And so, I left.

The Core Question

When you’re dating — or in any kind of relationship — you need to pause and ask yourself:

“How do I feel when I’m around this person?”

If you constantly feel drained, unsafe, or unsupported, no matter how much he says he loves you, his actions are telling you the truth.

3 : Clear Signs He Truly Loves You

A man who truly loves you doesn’t just say it — he shows it. Here are the three signs that he’s the real deal:

1 – He Puts “Us” First

• His intentions are clear — you don’t have to guess.
• Communication is a priority, not a battle.
• He accepts feedback with love instead of letting his ego take over.
• A man in love puts the relationship before his pride.

2 – He Asks Questions

• He’s curious about you, always wanting to know what makes you tick.
• When you speak, he listens fully — no distractions, no phone in sight.
• He wants to understand you because he sees a future with you.

3 – He Talks About the Future

• He creates space in his life for you — literally and emotionally.
• He compromises because your comfort makes him happy.
• He makes you feel at home with him, not like a guest.
• He finds joy in growing with you and shaping a shared future.

3 : Red Flags Disguised as Signs He Truly Loves You

Unfortunately, some men say all the right things but their actions reveal otherwise. Here’s how to spot them:

1 – His Words Don’t Match His Actions

He might swear he loves you, but when you’re struggling, he disappears. Love isn’t silent when you’re in pain. If he doesn’t show up for you when you truly need him, that’s not love — that’s selfishness.

2 – He Loves What You Do for Him, But Doesn’t Reciprocate

You plan holidays, buy thoughtful gifts, and pour energy into him. But when it’s time for him to do something for you, he gives you a meaningless gift or nothing at all. This isn’t partnership — it’s being used.

3 – He Pressures You Out of His Own Insecurities

If he pushes you to make big life changes — like moving cities or taking on financial burdens you can’t handle — without caring about your safety or security, that’s a red flag. Real love doesn’t force, it supports.

A Heartfelt Message to Modern Women

Ladies, I wrote this because I want you to remember: you are worthy of love that makes you feel safe, cherished, and respected.

I’m 47, divorced, with grey hair — and I still have men chasing me left and right. I’m single by choice, because I’m not looking for Mr. Right Now. I’m looking for my person. And I know I’ll find him because I have set my boundaries firmly.

What does that mean for you ? it means there is someone for everyone outthere, take your time, set your bounderies for what you can and cannot torelate in a relationship and your person will show up when you are ready.

When you honor your boundaries, you attract men who respect themselves — and you. The wrong men will weed themselves out, and the right man will rise to meet your worth.

So next time you’re in love, dating, or even just considering someone, ask yourself the one question that matters most:

“How does he make me feel?”

Because the answer to that will always tell you if he’s the right one.

Final Thoughts

A man who loves you won’t just say it — he’ll prove it through his actions. He’ll make you feel safe, appreciated, and happy. And if he doesn’t? Don’t be afraid to say: “No thank you, NEXT!”

You are worthy of love, respect, and a partner who brings out the best in you. Never settle for less.